Crede cuts ties to White Sox, moves to rival

The Chicago Auto Show is taking place downtown this week and heading down for a day has become a minor tradition for my brother-in-law and me. This makes for interesting timing, as we spent part of last year's visit discussing the future of Joe Crede and what the White Sox would do at third base for the 2008 season.

As of this morning, we'll have to think of something else to talk about.

Crede was in the Twin Cities to take his physical and presumably get back on a plane to Fort Myers, where he stands to be the starter at third for the Twins unless he gets hurt again. White Sox fans are more than aware that Crede's back has been a little iffy lately. This could very well be Chicago's version of a Trojan Horse in free agency form.

From the Twins site:

The Minneapolis Star Tribune is reporting that the deal features a base salary of $2.5 million, with the chance to earn $7 million in appearance bonuses. The bonuses begin once Crede reaches 250 plate appearances and tops out at $7 million following his 525th plate appearance...

The structure of the contract should help protect the Twins if Crede doesn't prove to be healthy. Crede, 30, has been limited to just 144 games the past two seasons due to back injuries. He's undergone two back surgeries over that time span, including one this past fall to remove a nerve impingement. His agent, Scott Boras, has told reporters that Crede is ready to go for Spring Training.

Back in Chicago, the team put a feature up on their site to pump up Fields a bit, drawing odd comparisons between Crede/Fields and Brett Favre/Aaron Rodgers. I know, weird, huh?

More interesting were the Green Bay parallels that ran right down to managing fan expectations of the new guy getting set to take over.

From the White Sox site:

Truth be told, Fields might not wind up quite as spectacular as a healthy Crede was with the glove at the hot corner. He might never win any accolades for his fielding.

Then again, a scant few third basemen match up with Crede when he's on his game. The present concern for Fields is not these personal highlights, as much as simply fitting into the White Sox big picture. To reach this goal, Fields knew his defensive play had to improve from an inconsistent 2008...

In 2007, Fields hit 23 home runs and drove in 67 over 100 games. In 2008, Fields hit .156 without a home run over 14 games. When Crede went down because of his balky back, the White Sox opted to start Juan Uribe at third because of his stronger defense.

(Image from: MLBlogs.com)

There's just no way

One of the big links floating today is the Baseball Prospectus win/loss projections for the year and for those keeping an eye on Chicago, it's feast or famine.

The Cubs are predicted to finish an NL-best 95-67, while the White Sox are being projected to finish last in the AL Central, with a record of 74-88.

No way do the White Sox do that poorly, to finish a (hypothetical) game behind the Royals.

No word on whether or not the Dodgers get a bump if they win back Manny Ramirez's heart.

Cubs no longer "got wood"

Not quite a year after I wrote this, the Kerry Wood era has ended in Chicago. Well, on the North Side, at least. There's no telling what Kenny Williams will do next after trading last year's big signing. (More on that later.)

This morning, the Cubs made a move for Florida's Kevin Gregg for a minor leaguer and parted ways with Wood just after lunchtime. Presumably, this means Carlos Marmol becomes the closer and that Gregg becomes the setup man who can move to a closer role if Marmol stumbles.

All of this means that Wood will be pitching somewhere else next season.

While my man-love of Wood (wait, that sounds bad...) is well-documented here, he leaves on a high note after returning from his endless trip to the DL, an All-Star selection and finishing fourth in saves for National League pitchers last year.

"We’re just in a situation, as Kerry fully understands, that that length of deal, for the kind of salary he’d command right now, is not our first priority. We certainly have to finish our rotation, we have offensive situations to address, and by having the prominence that (Carlos) Marmol now brings to the table, it certainly doesn’t come before the other needs we have. We felt it was time Kerry goes out and does what’s best for him and his family, and gets a huge multi-year deal if possible."

On the South Side, the White Sox traded away Nick Swisher, the switch-hitting fountain of awesome that GM Kenny Williams had to have last year.

Wait, make that - Had. To. Have. (Last year.)

To the point that he pried him from Oakland for the most promising part of the Chicago farm system. Yeah, that guy? He's gone now.

The Yankees swapped Wilson Betemit and minor league pitchers Jeff Marquez and Jhonny Nunez in exchange for Swisher and minor league pitcher Kanekoa Texeira.

(And what's up with another Jhonny in the majors? I thought Peralta was the only one ever. Now we have two in baseball?)

I think that the Swisher experiment - which according to the sidebar on ESPN says that he had the lowest batting average of any player with a qualifying number of at bats (502... uh why is that the number?) - is the equivalent of losing your shirt while flipping a house.

You bought the house because you could, but never really kept it long enough to turn any sort of profit.

Note: While I don't share the sentiment on Wood's long-term prospects as the answer to the closer problem for the Cubs put forth by Steve Rosenbloom, I do share this view:

I’ll miss the guy. I’ll miss his story. I’ll miss the big sound of Wrigley when he entered a game and the bigger one when he ended it.

(Image taken for Siberian Baseball)

Setting the record straight

As sent along by Frank the Tank this morning, watch for the guy in the Blackhawks t-shirt setting the record straight on Chicago's baseball loyalties (though I question that Sox fans had a "great" year). The fun starts at the 0:33 mark.



It's also worth noting that in the first few shots of the president elect, he was catching a ride with the Secret Service while wearing a White Sox cap.

The mayor and the president are both White Sox fans. I suspect that Wrigley Field willbe condemned and knocked down any day now.

Pictures worth 1,000 words

Once again, Palehose 8 has shown us the way.

Sometimes I hate it when he's right.


(Image from: Palehose 8... obviously)

Free baseball!

Well, not free baseball - tickets are going for $200 a pop and climbing as of late this afternoon - but Game 163 is upon us.

John Danks will start for the Sox and Nick Blackburn starts for the Twins. Despite Danks' issues of late - and face it, all of the Sox starters have been shelled in one game or another in September - I'll still take him over Blackburn.

Both have pitched 187 innings this year and have 11 wins. Danks wins pretty much every other category of note, incuding ERA (3.47 to 4.14), earned runs (72 to 86) and K/9 (7.46 to 4.48), just for a random sample.

Also, with the game being held in Chicago and not at the Ball Mall, the Sox have a huge advantage walking into the game.

Twins closer Joe Nathan was on the air with one of the radio shows in Chicago as I ran errands this afternoon and was asked to sum up the season with regard to matching 88 and 74 records leading to the one-game playoff.

Nathan said that in addition to both teams being division rivals and constantly beating on each other for the AL Central title, it seemed fitting to come this far to be tied. He pointed to the teams mirroring each other - when the Twins went on a skid, so did the Sox and when the Sox got on a roll, so did the Twins - all season long.

Regardless, both teams weren't expected to be here at the end of the season. I wasn't the only one to completely write off these two in favor of the Indians and Tigers.

Of course that won't help fans of whichever team loses tonight, but it's something.

Late note: John Kruk got done watching Danks speak to Pedro Gomez and was laughing at Danks' comment that he didn't know where this win ranked for him.

"I can tell him," Kruk said. "It's the best he ever pitched in his life. It's the most important game he's ever pitched in his life and it's the best he's ever pitched because he won the big game for this team."

I need Kruk to help me put events in my life in perspective. What do you think he does in the offseason? I mean other than take naps and make crank calls.

(Image from: Some random blog. I'll assume it's from MLB.com)

We're gonna need you to come in this weekend, hmmmmkay?

The White Sox are being delayed this afternoon because of storms in Chicago, meaning that the makeup game against the Tigers will wait just a little longer to complete.

The basics are that the Sox need two wins in two days to make the playoffs. Currently, they're a half game behind the Twins and one win gives them a tie for the AL Central crown. Beat the Tigers at home today and you get the Twins tomorrow in Chicago.

This earns them the right to play the Rays later in the week.

Needless to say, this is not a good thing for any team heading into the postseason.

Freddy Garcia will face Gavin Floyd whenever the game starts. If I'm on the Tigers, I'm coming out to make someone pay for making me play in the cold rain today when I should be flying home to see my family.

In the NL Central, the Brewers walked away with the Wild Card by virtue of a final game win. CC Sabathia proved that he's worth just as much publicity as Johan Santana as a one-game monster, picking up the win over the Cubs Lite lineup.

The Brewers ticket to October is resulting more from the Mets collapsing than stellar play on their end - the Mets owned their biggest lead of 3.5 games in the NL East as late as Sept. 10 - but they're in without play in games or tiebreakers.

For the record, both teams looked pretty awful at times in September - the Brewers were 10-16 in the past month - but now Milwaukee has to scramble to piece together a rotation on short rest.

Not that anyone north of the border is complaining, though. The Brewers are in with a few days to catch their breath. More than you can say for the two teams left.

(Image from: MLive.com)

Well, this just got interesting

The White Sox game in Minneapolis just ended a few minutes ago in extra innings, with the Twins completing the sweep and giving themselves a slim 1/2 game margin in the AL Central.

For those up to date on their SportsCenter clinching celebrations, the Red Sox have a spot, the Rays have a spot and the Angels clinched in mid-August, leaving Chicago and Minnesota to duke it out for the final playoff spot.

The Twins got the better end of the series.

Now, as Cubs fans quietly whisper about the wisdom of printing World Series tickets by virtue of their best record in the National League, Sox fans anxiously watch the weekend series at the Cell with one eye on the out of town scoreboard.

Not to rain on anyone's parade, but if you could choose three games to determine your fate would it be against the Royals, who never contend but have had a hand in the AL Central two of three years now or the Indians, who were expected to run with the Tigers for the Central crown before the bottom dropped out on both teams?

(Quick time out. Which of those statements would have sounded strangest in early March? Indians and Tigers in the toilet before the All-Star break? White Sox and Twins in the mix with three to play? Cubs with the best record in the NL? The Rays winning the AL East? Seriously, this year is a total funhouse.)

Now, the good news.

Go back two years and the Twins were playing out of their minds down the stretch, winning game after game when - and stop me if you've heard this one - they had no business winning that often.

As Joe Mauer became the first batting champ while playing as an everyday catcher, the Twins trailed the Tigers into the final weekend against the White Sox. Detroit had Kansas City at their own park.

I'll turn it over to me for the breakdown:

Regardless of where you are or how good you think your team will or will not be, strange things can happen at both ends of the season. Just ask the Royals.

With that in mind, we were at the Twins game this afternoon to see a game that on paper in April and May should have been the Twins serving as spoilers to a White Sox title defense run. In practice, it was Kansas City pulling three games from deep in its collective ass to knock the Tigers from the top spot and give the Twins the division title for the fourth time in five years.

So, not only is there historical precedent, but with the teams involved. The Royals have played the frontrunner on the road and swept before.

Is it possible that the Royals are just better at playing the spoiler than other teams? Granted, they get plenty of practice where others teams fold under bad attitudes and crushing expectations, but could they really be the best spoilers in the league?

I'm totally serious about this.

Francisco Liriano starts for the Twins tomorrow, John Danks for the Southsiders. I'd post who they start against, but I'm betting no one else has heard from them unless they have teams in several AL-only keeper leagues.

Oh, and the "Post-Season 2008" tag just got minted for this post. This is the second most exciting thing that's happened today.

Late edit:

The teams that have tickets punched for the postseason are:

NL:
Chicago
Los Angeles

AL:
Tampa Bay
Boston
Los Angeles (by way of Anaheim, etc.)

(Image from: StarTribune.com)

Useful trivia for a change

Nice work, ESPN - you gave us something worthwhile in the long-running Cubs/White Sox rivalry.

ESPN the Magazine compiled a lengthy list of trivia connecting the two teams and covering a lot of ground. Granted, some of the 102 facts that mark the 102 years since both teams were in contention for the postseason come down without much rhyme or reason in the numbering system, but otherwise it's a fun read.

My favorite is the comparison from umpire Bruce Froemming, who chimed in on the difference between being bawled out by Lou Piniella and Ozzie Guillen:

ON LOU: "He's very loud. When he flipped his lid last year, I thought it was premeditated; his team was playing bad, the press was all over him, so he had to do something. But the next time we saw him, he was very humble, apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. He likes umpires."

ON OZZIE: "He yells at the same decibel level as Lou. The difference is, when Ozzie started yelling and talking really fast, I couldn't understand him. He'd go *@&@(!(@ and I'd say, 'Ozzie, slow down.' With him, I don't think anything is premeditated. I'm not sure he remembers the things he did three days ago. Which is good.

In news that should shock no one, Wrigley Field's food is awful and should only be eaten if you've recently come out of a coma and are in need of constant nourishment.

(Image from: CounterfeitChic.com)

White Sox lose heart, soul in one shot

One of the underrated skills that professional athletes need to develop in order to survive in larger markets is the ability to sell bad ideas and bad breaks and to do so with a smile on their face.

For anyone needing an illustration of these skills, refer to the reactions after word got out that White Sox offensive spark plug Carlos Quentin has a broken wrist and will have to undergo surgery.

"He was the heart and soul," Thome said. " ... You're talking about a guy who could be the MVP.

"It's tough, but you got to move on."

Nick Swisher was a bit more optimistic... kinda:

"[How good will team be?]We'll find out tonight. I think it's a huge loss. It's hard to tell. With the power that he's provided, taking that out of the lineup, we have to pull together.

"The timing couldn't be worse. I hope he heals faster than any of us can imagine."

Lest you think that Thome and Swisher are just leaning on a little hyperbole to prop up a teammate who's feeling a little down, here are some of the numbers for one of the most unnoticed stars this season:

Quentin is the team leader in runs (96), home runs (36), RBI (100), OBP (.394) and Slugging (.574).

I was going to list where he ranked second and third with this year's Sox, but it's pretty much every other category. I'll just stop before I drive off the Sox fan base.

(Image from: UmpBump.com)

Secondary highlights

Aside from the Red Sox pasting the White Sox for most of the weekend - 8-0 and 8-2 wins on Friday and Saturday, with a 4-2 loss Sunday - the highlights have to be Ozzie Guillen's comments following the Saturday night game.

After Dustin Pedroia wore out the White Sox pitchers for two days, Guillen was extra quotable after the game.

"I never thought I would walk a jockey," Guillen said. "I must be the worst manager ever in the history of baseball right now, walking a guy that just came from being on the top of Big Brown to beat the White Sox.

"Right now he's on a roll."

Pedroia was 4-for-4 with three runs and a walk on Friday and 4-for-4 with two runs and a walk from the clean up spot on Saturday, prompting Guillen's exceptional comments.

Then again, good ink seems to follow Pedroia lately, including a feature story on him in ESPN the Magazine that focused on his constant jawing at opponents and oddball behavior in the clubhouse.

The title? 170 Pounds of Mouth. You really have to respect a man who Manny Ramirez thinks is crazy. I don't quite know why, but you do.

(Image from: Boston.com)

It's hard to argue with the man on that

Regardless of your political leanings - and if we can't escape stupid political discussions in the realm of baseball, where can we retreat to? - it's hard to argue with Barack Obama when he speaks on the state of Chicago baseball.

From the recent ESPN interview, via the Chicago Tribune:

"I'm not one of these fair weather fans,'' the junior senator from Illinois and presumptive presidential nominee of the Democratic Party explained. "You go to Wrigley Field, you have a beer, beautiful people up there. People aren't watching the game. It's not serious. White Sox, that's baseball. Southside."

It's hard to argue with that assessment (even as a Cubs fan) and it shows that a.) Obama's staff has done a wonderful job of prepping their candidate to have that everyman finish or b.) Obama has been to a game at each park in the past few years and understands what's happening beyond the security detail's perimeter.

(While John McCain has been seen at several Diamondbacks games in his home state, my money says he pores over the box scores every morning trying to find results from the last Cleveland Spiders game.)

Rich Daley must be fuming this morning when he realizes that he's on the cusp of losing his "most powerful White Sox fan" title. I expect Obama's entire motorcade to get the Denver boot on his next trip home.

(Image from: RollingStone.com)

Brains and thoughts

From the always outstanding Palehose 8.

Charlie Hough returns to White Sox

Taking a page from Brett Favre's playbook, knuckleballer Charlie Hough has decided he isn't quite ready for the links yet, announcing his return to the Chicago White Sox.

After pitching his last game in 1994 as a Florida Marlin at age 46, he's announced via his agent that knuckleball pitchers could easily pitch indefinitely, as the pitch requires very little arm strength.

Mark Buehrle was on hand before yesterday's game to welcome the former Sox hurler back to the fold.


(Actually, this is for a show heading to the United Center this week. From the actual caption: White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle hands the ball to "Baby T-Rex," a person in a dinosaur costume promoting "Walking with Dinosaurs," a show coming to the United Center.)

(Image from: Charles Cherney of the Chicago Tribune)

What Hawk Harrelson knows

The Chicago Sun-Times runs a feature called, "This much I know," where they interview people and publish the list of quick hits.

I guess it was morbid curiosity when I clicked the link for Hawk Harrelson and stumbled across pure gold.

For instance, he's an announcer because he sucks at golf. That probably explains why he's such a first cut rate announcer - he'd rather be doing something else, instead.

Also from the goldmine that is Harrelson's mind:

I was the White Sox general manager in 1986. I can tell you being a general manager is the worst job in baseball. No question about it.

It might just be that the Hawk was one of the worst at the job. I have an army of Sox fans who are behind me on this one.

Lou Piniella is one of my dear friends. I just want to kick his ass.

I would love to see the line on a Harrelson/Piniella fight.

Up until '05, I never really realized the difference of winning a World Series to losing a World Series. My wife asked me which was better, '67 or '05. I got to tell you, it's '05. The difference is immense.

I've never even been to a World Series game and I'm pretty sure I grasp that concept.

(Image from: SpudArt.org)

Brian Anderson has a dirty mind

From today's Joke of the Day on the Chicago Tribune site is White Sox outfielder Brian Anderson. Guess it pays to preview these if you're going to use them as a warm up for a daily morning meeting.

I hesitate to even link to it, because the Tribune can't be bothered to allow an embedding code, so they obviously have enough site traffic.

I wouldn't want to tax their servers with the extra attention.

It's not like they're the Steel Curtain

There's an old story about the Pittsburgh Steelers of the 1970s that says in their heyday there were so many players on the defensive team on the Pro Bowl roster that they began calling their own plays on the field and confusing the handful of guys from the other teams.

It was just easier - and probably made for a better story - to call out the plays from the Pittsburgh playbook and let the non-Steelers fend for themselves instead of trying to play off of the same shortened page in the Pro Bowl.

I'm seeing elements of this as the All-Star balloting comes to a close shortly and players from the teams with huge fanbases are in the top three of each position, regardless of ability or this season's performance.

Primarily, I'm looking at the Cubs and how many are primed for a trip to New York. This shouldn't surprise me much anymore, because aside from being shocked that my e-mail client's spam filters let a message through imploring me that, "Kosuke needs your help!" without immediately dumping it to protect me from Japanese pornography, the rest of the experience is a carbon copy of what is becoming a yearly rant.

When the ESPN broadcast ran the graphic with current vote leaders on Sunday night, it was a little disappointing to see the screen awash in Cubbie blue, Red Sox red and the pinstripes of the Yankees.

Not that players who are having great seasons shouldn't be included, but once again, it seems that muscle memory and fan amnesia are helping to steer the ship.

In the National League, the Cubs are churning out votes with three players scheduled to start - Geovany Soto, Alfonso Soriano and Fukudome - if the voting ended today. This is despite Soriano's injuries which have kept him out of the Cubs lineup for long stretches this season.

Mark DeRosa and Aramis Ramirez are second in the voting, despite DeRosa not having a set position on the team, while Derek Lee and Ryan Theriot are in third place in their races.

For those scoring at home, every position has a Cubs player in the top three vote-getters. They're a good team through the first half of the season - last weekend at The Cell not withstanding - but they're not that good.

The American League is even worse. With the exception of Joe Mauer who just overtook Jason Varitek in the race to backstop the AL All-Stars, every leading vote-getter is a member of the Yankees or Red Sox (in most cases the top two are the New York/Boston connection).

Want proof that fans are voting a straight ticket for their team? There's no way that over 600,000 people truly believe Julio Lugo is the best shortstop in the AL.

The biggest oversight to fix is the omission of Carlos Quentin, who isn't among the top 15 in AL outfielders - despite the inclusion of Johnny Damon, Coco Crisp and Bobby Abreu - even though he's been the sparkplug for the White Sox in the first half.

While it's generally accepted that the whole exercise is just a way to make the fans feel involved and is nothing more than a popularity contest, it was nice to see Josh Hamilton make the cut after his hot start. Still, I think MLB could streamline the whole process by assigning votes like the government does in assigning members of the House of Representatives.

Teams with the largest fan bases as determined by merchandise sales and home attendance would receive the most votes for their players, while teams with small pockets of fans would receive the least.

Just think of all the time and energy we'd save not counting votes that would give us identical results.

(Image from: MLB.com)

Sox fans jump ship

A quick link from Daniel Rubin of the Philadelphia Inquirer who is politely asking to defect from Red Sox Nation, especially in light of the recent championship won by the Celtics.

I feel your pain, Mr. Rubin.

I remember being on the train in 2005 and seeing more Red Sox hats than White Sox hats on the Red line headed to The Cell and wondering if Chicago had that many transplants from Boston or if the natural parallels between the Northsiders and the Red Sox fans was too great of a temptation for those starved for success after nearly 100 years without a championship of their own.

I wonder retroactively if those fans also traded Red for White in their Sox loyalties that fall, especially after Chicago steamrolled the punchless Boston team in the playoffs that year.

Still, even without an increasingly loud and obnoxious fan base, it's difficult to not start pulling for the local team when you're a stranger in town. With two years in Minneapolis and season tickets for the Twins in 2006 and 2007, it was hard to not get wrapped up in the team you see most often, even with a full dance card of rooting interests.

When you're looking to talk baseball with your boss, it's much easier to start following the team that you hear about on the radio, see almost exclusively in the papers and have instant access to on local television. If you're even remotely interested in baseball, it's nice to be able to talk about the ups and downs of the season, even if it's not about your favorite team.

So, I don't blame anyone looking for a new team to call their own, especially when your home ballpark starts shutting you out by way of overpriced seats and sold outs games filled to capacity with fans from out of town who will show up, regardless of how poorly the team is doing - looking at you, Wrigley fans.

And as for Mr. Rubin, enjoy your newfound family in Philly. Try to keep the hooliganism to a minimum.

(Image from: MassholeProShop.com)

Nothing says "childrens' charity" like a liquor store

I was sitting at the kitchen table the other night when the back page of one of the weekly entertainment newspapers caught my eye.

A full page ad blared, "Meet White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen!" Where? At a liquor store.

I don't worry too much about Ozzie, but I can only imagine the circus that is bound to erupt when you combine Chicago fans (from either side of the river), booze and a first-place baseball team.

I've thought about this for a while now and can't decide if the bleacher creatures from Wrigley, jacked up on cheap cases of Old Style or the notoriously rowdy fans at The Cell pose a greater potential for chaos when they are invited to come support their team at a store that exists for the sole reason of selling booze. For kids, though! They're raising money for kids.

No word yet on whether or not Lou Piniella will be entering the world of liquor store promotion / fundraising for children.

Maybe he's waiting for free lighter day at the Shell station instead.

On the plus side, at least the White Sox are pretty consistent with doing things for children - who can forget last year's offer of having kids take the field behind Guillen? I just question how appropriate the location is, given the intended recipients.

(Image from: Binnys.com)

The long awaited closer post is on its way

A few weeks ago when Frank the Tank and I did our subway series, seeing the White Sox and Cubs in the same day, it brought to light many of the differences between the two ballclubs.

Aside from the overplayed and overhyped socio-economic differences, the teams themselves are built for different purposes. The Cubs are built for power and to score runs in quick flurries, while the White Sox are built for speed to play Ozzieball. Sure, the Cubs have speed and the White Sox see power from a few of their sluggers, but if you need a quick reference guide, that summary will do nicely.

What really struck me that day was what happened in the ninth inning. On the South Side, Bobby Jenks came storming in from the outfield as the crowd went nuts. With the Sox up 4-0, the team looked to its closer to come in with two on to put the A's rally down, which he did promptly on a sac fly and a game-ending double play.

A few hours later across town, Kerry Wood entered the game to the tinny strains of Guns n' Roses - while The Cell has a new, top of the line sound system for ramping up the crowd, Wrigley Field's speakers were wired by Civil War veterans as some sort of work program - and a slightly jumpy crowd.

While no one doubts Wood's talent, it's his arm that has the faithful worried. For better or worse, Cubs fans see Wood as he was a decade ago, mowing down 20 Astros en route to a banner memorializing the feat on the top of the grandstands.

While blind faith is a wonderful thing, most fans aren't that dumb, so they also worry as counts are stretched and a converted starter struggles to make the mental changes necessary to try and become an effective closer.

Wood entered after a homer and a walk and sat down the next three batters in order with a flyout, a strikeout and a groundout to end the game.

While the results were the same, Jenks threw two pitches for his three outs, while Wood threw 15 and I think that helps illustrate one difference between starters and closers. While starters can nibble around the strike zone, sometimes being criticized for being too fine, a closer is better served by going straight to the gas and trying to overpower the opposition.

Given the state of modern baseball, your best pitchers are now likely to be your ace and your closer, the way they go about their business couldn't be more different. This isn't a bad thing - while it's tough to get blown out, it's downright demoralizing to blow a game in the ninth when your closer melts down.

Recently, Frank and I started talking about the closer position and agreed to work up our magic lists where if we could design a closer from scratch, what would we be looking to add to the mix?

That post will be up shortly, but it's an interesting question to kick around - So, what are your five must have traits for a closer?

(Image from: Baseball-Almanac.com)

White Sox, pink beards

This season has already featured several White Sox players locked in what appears to be a contest to have the most bizarre facial hair (non-Backstreet division). It's been mocked on the blogs and imitated in the stands and now used to draw attention to breast cancer in time for Mothers' Day.

No longer will the day only be the time for pink bats as Nick Swisher, Toby Hall, Bobby Jenks and John Danks had their facial hair dyed pink Wednesday as they prepare for the weekend.

I guess this is what you resort to in the American League, where if you're a pitcher, or Toby Hall, you don't get to bat.

According to ESPN.com, Swisher said he'll keep it pink if the team gets hot, which signals to me that the team doesn't have high hopes of sweeping the Mariners over the weekend.

Take heart, dads, the players also have plans to go with the blue beards in time for Fathers' Day next month.

"Some people will wear wrist bands, but we'll wear this on our faces to show support," said Jenks, who confirmed he would paint his goatee blue for Father's Day.

I knew guys in high school who did the same thing, only they were looking to piss off their fathers at the time. I guess the rules of parenting change when you're cashing paychecks that big.

I just need to know if Joe Mauer is planning anything special with his sideburns. That sort of thing will get you tossed out of St. Paul on your ass in a hurry.

(Image from: ESPN.com)

Well, maybe the manager is an ass[bleep]

I think it's pretty difficult to get tired of Ozzie Guillen, assuming your not a fan of the White Sox. I'm pretty sure the rants and raves aren't as funny when you're invested in the team... well, at least when they're on a bit of a skid. Then again, at least it's always entertaining.

For those who missed it, his latest tantrum is here. My favorite excerpt is Ozzie's exposition on where he thinks the White Sox rank in the Chicago sports food chain.

''We won it a couple years ago, and we're horse[bleep],'' Guillen said. ''The Cubs haven't won in 120 years, and they're the [bleep]ing best. [Bleep] it, we're good. [Bleep] everybody. We're horse[bleep], and we're going to be horse[bleep] the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win. We are the bitch of Chicago. We're the Chicago bitch. We have the worst owner -- the guy's got seven [bleep]ing rings, and he's the [bleep]ing horse[bleep] owner.''

It's even funnier to me, because I've had evenings where you're put in the unique position of having censor language, though never on this grand of a scale. Usually it was a word or two, nothing major.

Given the Sun-Times' use of webcams and online content, would it kill them to film the editorial meeting where they try to identify all of the curse words and then decide whether to bleep them or try to find a suitable replacement?

It would totally make the other papers look like horse[poop].

(Image from: WhoKnew.us)

The more things change...

Among the handful of books on my shelf that I'm always trying to work through is a fairly steady stream of recommendations from my dad.

I held off a bit on Cait Murphy's Crazy '08 because - despite the urging of folksy wisdom and after school specials on racism - I judged the book by its cover. I figured a book on the 1908 season was more than likely a vanity piece done by a wistful Cubs fan who would list the president and what a gallon of milk cost acentury ago, only for 250 sluggish pages.

I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm going out of my way to take the El lately to have time to myself to read to keep plowing through the book. It's a phenomenal recap of the race to the pennant between the Cubs, Giants and Pirates and is just a wonderful read. If you're a fan of David Halberstam's work, you should groove nicely right into this read.

Just be ready for jarring passages of the Cubs as the dominant force in the league who talked trash and assumed it would win the pennant year in and year out. All references to Cub luck at the turn of the century are done without a hint of irony. What a strange, wonderful world.

I can't recommend it enough.

It's a fun mix of history and baseball wrapped up together, giving glimpses into the national landscape in 1908 and before, with commentary on the average fan and steps baseball took to make the game more palatable to families among other cool anecdotes.

What caught my eye today was a two paragraph breakdown that I've heard nearly word for word at least a half dozen times from White Sox fans in the past two years:

According to sportswriter William Phelon, half the fans at a typical Cubs's game enjoy themselves regardless of who wins. Another chunk might as well be nicknamed "Dummy" [SB note: as in deaf and dumb] for all the noise they make. Only a small fraction, Phelon reports, "actually go wild over Cub success." The Cubs attract healthier crowds - the attendance record the team sets in 1908 will last until 1923 - but "there is far less partisanship," says Phelon, "than prevails in many burgs." Instead, separated from the action by the vast foul territory and outfield, many see a game only of metaphorical giants.

The physical distance may lead to a kind of emotional distance. Unlike White Sox fans on the South Side, , whom Ty Cobb describes as "often rough and many times unruly."

When the Georgia Peach thinks you're a bunch of jackasses, there are issues that run deep. Still, it's comforting to know that despite a century of progress, the fan bases are pretty much the same.

The question remains - who'll be the loathed ballplayer who trash talks Sox fans? Before you answer, keep in mind that Cobb was regarded as one of the nastiest ballplayers in history and once allegedly beat the hell out of a crippled fan at the ballpark. That bar is set pretty high.

(Image from: SI.com)

The big, fat oh-fer

While it was just mentioned in the last post, this clip officially deserves its own space for the bizarre combination of comedy, humiliation and cursing.

Joe Cowley has a series of Pros vs. Joes style competitions with the White Sox players and the first one, a contest against AJ Pierzynski's arm, does not go as well as Cowley had hoped.

The premise is simple - Pierzynski was only able to throw out a little over 16 percent of runners last season and Cowley figured if it was that simple, why not see how he'd fare. What he proved was that there are reasons players don't try to steal on 10 consecutive pitches and even if they did, they're professional athletes who have just a touch more speed than your average adult.

I think the funniest part of the clip is the obvious joy Pierzynski gets from thrashing his tormentor - just jawing at him once the tide turns and it becomes apparent that it isn't Cowley's day on the basepaths.

Then again, we all knew that AJ can chatter on with the best of them.

Hearing him run his mouth as he starts to stack up outs is almost enough to make me cheer for AJ by the end of the clip. Almost.

Also, players should be miked at all times when on the field of play. You could charge more than a couple of bucks for fans to watch the unedited feed and Id bet they'd pay gladly.

(Image via: ItsASecretSoHush.blogspot.com)

Reporter hit with chair, Swisher laughs

For those not familiar with the Chicago print media, the Chicago Tribune is the gold standard, while it's younger cousin, the Sun-Times takes a bit of heat for its reporters and a perception that they're not as good as the Trib.

What the Sun-Times usually brings to the table is a looser style and what's seen as a more blue-collar approach. Seeing as the Trib owns the Cubs, it's only natural that the Sun-Times focus on the White Sox and that's where we get the general nonsense that is Jay Mariotti's career.

Still, it's nice when the underdogs find new ways to stay viable - especially in a dying industry - and this is a perfect example of that. Sox beat writer Joe Cowley agrees to be hit with a folding chair from Sox minor league conditioning coordinator, Dale Torborg. This is the same man who tried to steal bases off of AJ Pierzynski after the catcher's less than stellar results at keeping runners honest.

All of this plays out like a budget WWE interview with Nick Swisher doing a surprisingly good job as the interviewer.

Oh, did I forget to mention that Dale - Jeff Torborg's son - was also a professional wrestler and larger than your average refrigerator? Yeah, that, too.

More power to him - there's no way I would have ever agreed to this, no matter how long I'd been standing in the Arizona sun.

(Image from: Kulick.net)

Misery loves company

The Chicago fan's hierarchy of rooting interests is a tricky beast to tame. For starters, there are two baseball teams in town that draw from distinctly different bases (no, really?) with the Cubs cornering the market on yuppies, out-of-towners and transpalnts and the Sox relying heavily on the South Side and suburbs to fill seats at the Cell.

If there's one thing that the national baseball audience doesn't understand, it's that the Cubs tend to pull in new residents to keep Wrigley Field filled to capacity with popped collars, while the White Sox represent a truer Chicago-only fanbase. For better or worse, that's just how I've seen the demographics play out in nearly 30 years (and a day at both parks yesterday) as a fan.

Aside from the Bears, which consistently draw Chicago fans year in and year out, the city's baseball teams have to duke it out with the Bulls and Blackhawks for ticket money, with the NBA and NHL fans ebbing and flowing based on the teams they trot out and the fans' current level of loyalty based on which league screwed their fans least or more recently.

Still, if you had to lay money down on the hardest of the the hard core Chicago fan (ranked by strength of loyalty), you'd have to go: Bears, Sox, Blackhawks and Bulls, in that order. I'm not saying there aren't plenty of Cubs fans who would fit the bill, I'm just saying by numbers alone that you're most likely to find Sox fans who also pull for the rest of the city's teams before you'd find Cub fans who are a match.

I guess that's why it seems strange that the White Sox have released word that they'll be cross-promoting with the Blackhawks this season. Seems like that's just preaching to the choir.

That aside, this could be a lot of fun, depending on what types of promotions they can cook up. Right now, it's mainly shooting pucks on the top of the White Sox dugout between innings, but I think any of the following would really spice things up.

* Any six White Sox players versus the local peewee hockey team in town for the pregame exhibition game. Seeing six professional athletes who can't skate versus a pack of six year olds who can? Comedy gold.

* Manager swap night, where Denis Savard fills in while Ozzie takes the night off and vice-versa. Strangely, I think the Blackhawks would respond well to Ozzie's special brand of bilungual cursing and theatrics (thought he'd have to wear a suit) behind the bench. As for Savard's calls this season for his players to get into the corners and get some cuts on their faces, that type of atmosphere might give Sox fans something they've been missing since the 2005 season - a team full of Aaron Rowlands.

* I don't have a joke here, but can only assume Bobby Jenks would make a decent goaltender.

* Hockey players and Sox fans have similar dental patterns - anyone missing more than three from a fistfight gets half-priced beer through the first period.

* As long as we're in that fighting mood, wouldn't a steel cage match be fun for the whole family? I say we pull Bob Probert out of retirement and have him fight William Lidge. For charity of course, except for the side action amongst the fans.

That's pure profit.

(Image from DayLife.com)

A day 12 years in the making

Tomorrow marks the culmination of nearly 12 years worth of careful planning and patient waiting for the stars to align and social schedules to open up. Despite several moves from the Midwest to the east coast and back, the dream never faded and refused to die.

Despite the odds being stacked against us and the gods of baseball scheduling trying their best to crush our dream, Frank the Tank and I will finally achieve our boyhood dreams of attending both a White Sox and a Cubs game in the same day.

While on the surface this seems like a simple enough proposition, it's been difficult to coordinate, going back to our years in high school. Sure, while there was a time that getting your hands on day-of-game tickets for either team was pretty easy for either ballclub (even if you were a poor, dirtbag high school student with a part time job) the schedules never seemed to add up for us.

So, tomorrow, we'll be at the Sox game in the afternoon, grab a quick bite up the Red Line and finish the evening in Wrigleyville. There was a quick discussion on sports talk this evening about the rowdy fan portion of the equation with countless other fans who will follow the same gameplan, but adding a degree of difficulty by getting plowed on the South Side and unleashing hell on the backyard gardens of the North Side.

From where I'm standing, the more verbal abuse thrown at Corey Patterson, the better. You know, to make him sad that he's not playing in Chicago anymore.

(Image from MLB.com)

My neighbor give you lima beans and you not gonna eat them?

If there's one thing that the White Sox do well, it's promotion. Well, aside from Disco Demolition Night, of course.

I was a little disappointed when the new campaign came out this spring that features players with hand-written, cardboard signs (much like those you'd see from their fans as they stand next to the freeway and try to sell you socks and newspapers) but I guess I just needed to wait for the radio spots to start.

There are a few that are related links to the ones I'm posting below, but these were my favorites.

It's nice to have a team that can laugh at itself - which probably helps after the first-class ass kicking the Twins laid on the Southsiders last night - and I'm even more confused about where Ozzie Guillen resides on the evil genius/total moron scale now.

My big question now is whether or not Hawk Harrelson was in on the gag or was just reading the ad copy straight up. I'm guessing they told him it was a voiceover for a "Best of the Hawk" CD to be released later this year and let him do the lines straight.

(Thanks to With Leather via FanHaus via Big League Stew for finding these. There, now no one has any reason to start a flame war.)

Ozzie loves beans



Dadgum Right



Bobby Jenks throws faster than a bus

Chicago celebrates Opening Day (Observed)

Well, the Cubs held their home opener on Opening Day last week and the White Sox should be through with warm-ups by now down at the Cell this afternoon, but leave it to city hall to make their own rules and celebrate Opening Day whenever the hell they please.

For those who will be in the Loop tomorrow afternoon, the city will celebrate with a few players to be named later and assorted major and minor league teams.

I smell a conspiracy - the mayor is a White Sox fan and he waits until the Cubs are out of town to throw a party? Seems fishy.

Cups, underpants and tiger-related injuries

I was online last night and jumped to the Twins shop linked from their site. Every now and again, I'll see what's been added to the "new" section to see if there's something my wife might like, if a new product line has come out that might look good in Cubbie blue or Sox red or if MLB is just rubber stamping products to make a quick buck.

Here's one from that third column.

Keeping in mind this is a newly released product, what's the thinking behind a Twins tumbler featuring Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau and Johan Santana? It wasn't a major surprise when Santana left and it had been a major story in the Twin Cities for months before the season ended.

Was this wishful thinking or are plastic tumblers much, much more difficult to manufacture than I ever knew?

I can only imagine that the Twins will sell a few of these cups - great for storing salt to later be ground into open wounds - box up the rest and sell them in 20 years as "throwback glasses."

* This came from the Extra Bases feature on Boston.com today, when Red Sox manager Terry Francona was asked about heading back home after his team was forced to play in three countries over the past two weeks:

Francona said Opening Day is "special anyway. Then you add the ring ceremony and half of us will be wearing clean underwear. How do you beat rings and a clean underwear?"

Uh, buddy? What about the other half? Were they already clean or some of those weird, superstitious guys who never do laundry in season like a boy in a sitcom?

* And finally, from my favorite White Sox site, the April 4 edition of Palehose 8. If you're confused by the set up this season it's well worth the time to start at the beginning and work your way back.

He's not going anywhere and I'm not planning to stop linking to him any time soon.

(Image from MLB.com)

They're taking our jobs!

I'm catching a few innings of the White Sox and Indians game in Cleveland tonight during dinner and noticed a strange ad placed on the backstop.

Just to the left behind the plate, on the rotating marquee is an ad for border patrol officers. Apparently they're hiring, so there's a web site for you if you really have an ax to grind with Mexicans who are crossing illegally.

Is this the best audience to be flashing that ad in front of? Especially considering that of all sports, baseball (probably) has the largest percentage of Latinos? Tell me that the border patrol is all about keeping terrorists out of the country and not the Mexicans and I'll stop listening to you, because you are a liar.

Or running for office in a Latino district.

* Off topic, but worth updating is the little typo problem with the Ernie Banks statue at Wrigley, which was apparently fixed this morning.

I assumed it was an April Fool's joke, so I was letting it be until I went to the game today, but the story was apparently legit.

Well, OK, then. I'm sure someone's third-grade teacher is very, very proud this morning. That and it just goes to show how observant and intelligent TV news reporters are... or not.

(Images taken for Siberian Baseball)

Prior! Where the hell is Prior?

With the exception of those who are actively paid by Major League Baseball, you'd be hard pressed to find people who can rattle off the off-season movement short of the top-tier free agents and players who have hung up the spikes.

Of course, Sports Illustrated is there to help with an annual photo gallery and the player tracker is still chugging along at MLB.com after months of use.

Feel free to wander around over at the MLB site to see for yourself just how many veteran players are scrambling to call the cable company tomorrow to get their MLB Extra Innings package hooked up so they can catch some games.

In the interest of saving time, here are what Chicago fans of both teams need to know with Opening Day less than 24 hours away.

Cubs fans should know that:

* Wade Miller signed a minor league contract
* Daryle Ward and the team reached a mutual option
* Scott Eyre exercised his option
* Jacque Jones and Omar Infante switched lockers when Jones headed to Detroit
* Craig Monroe is in Minnesota now for a player to be named later
* Kerry Wood signed a one-year deal and is the new closer... for now at least
* Jason Kendall jumped the border and will backstop the Brewers this year
* Will Ohman and Infante were shipped to Atlanta for Jose Ascanio. I need to return my new Infante jersey
* Cliff Floyd is now in Tampa playing with the new-look Rays
* Kosuke Fukudome - once again, Foo-koo-doh-may - signed his four-year deal on Dec. 19.
* Mark Prior is now a San Diego Padere
* Angel Pagan headed to the Mets for two minor leaguers
* Jon Lieber came back to the Cubs from the Phillies
* Steve Trachsel was invited to Spring Training by the Orioles. I was, too. So was Babe Ruth's corpse.
* Alex Cintron was asked to join the North Side/South Side club by coming over from the White Sox - and was then released
* Reed Johnson signed a one-year deal

Also of note in the Central:

Milwaukee Brewers:
Mike Cameron (formerly of the Padres)
Eric Gagne (Red Sox)
David Riske (Royals)

Houston Astros:
Miguel Tejada (Orioles)
Kaz Matsui (Rockies)
Darin Erstad (White Sox)

Lost:
Adam Everett and Mike Lamb (Twins)
Brad Lidge (Phillies)
Chris Burke and Chad Qualls (Diamondbacks)

Released:
Woody Williams

St. Louis Cardinals:
Swapped Scott Rolen for Troy Glaus (Blue Jays)
Cesar Izturis (Pirates)

Cincinnati Reds:
Francisco Cordero (Brewers)
Josh Fogg (Rockies)
Dusty Baker (manager from ESPN)

Pittsburgh Pirates:
Doug Mientkiewicz (Yankees)

And for the White Sox fans:

* Juan Uribe signed a one-year deal (and was waived this week)
* Jon Garland was traded to the Angels for Orlando Cabrera
* Scott Linebrink moves from the Brewers to the South Side
* Erstad headed to Houston
* Nick Swisher joins the team from Oakland... not that he was even on the trading block, but what Kenny wants, Kenny gets. He's a rebel, a gunslinger, just like Brett Favre
* Ryan Sweeny heads to Oakland with two other players in the Swisher trade
* Alexei Ramirez joins the ballclub after playing in Cuba
* Octavio Dotel is signed after pitching in Atlanta
* Mike Myers is invited to Dodgers camp, Scott Podsednik is invited by the Rockies and Craig Wilson heads off with the Reds
* David Aardsma is sent to Boston for two young arms
* Tomo Ohka heads over from Seattle
* Josh Fields will start the season in AAA as Kenny Williams works his magic
* Third base coach Razor Shines is fired for a performance not as awesome as his name

Also of note in the Central:

Detroit Tigers:
Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera (Marlins)
Edgar Renteria (Braves)

Cleveland Indians:
Jason Tyner (Twins), Jorge Julio (Rockies), Scott Elarton ( and Brendan Donnelly (Red Sox) are all signed to minor league contracts
Masahide Kobayashi (Japan)

Minnesota Twins:
Lamb and Everett (Astros)
Matt Garza and Jason Bartlett are sent to Tampa for Delmon Young and Brendan Harris
Livan Hernandez (Diamondbacks)
Monroe (Cubs)

Lost:
Johan Santana (Mets)
Carlos Silva (Mariners)
Sidney Ponson (Rangers)
Matthew LeCroy (A's)
Torii Hunter (Angels)
Lew Ford (Japan)

Kansas City Royals:
Jose Guillen (Mariners)
Miguel Olivo (Marlins)
Brett Tomko (Padres)

(Image from: SeoulDelight.wordpress.com)

Cubs headed to the South Side?

Just a quick link from Chicagoist.com this morning to get on record here with the proposal to have the Cubs play at US Cellular Field for a season in order to get Wrigley Field back up to code.

The idea is that if the state buys the property, they might want to have the Cubs share the space with the White Sox to get construction completed in one shot instead of over three years. I guess that's the problem with baseball season being roughly the same length as construction season.

This raises a number of concerns, mainly that while it would be a hometown crowd, it would mean away games all summer for the Cubs and questions about who has priority in dictating the height of the infield grass and the Cubs having short term problems of a team designed to play in Wrigley suddenly having to play in a much different ballpark.

We're not talking about the Bears playing at the University of Illinois here.

Secondarily, how many police are two many when it comes to yuppies and tourists flooding the area all summer? Would individual escorts for each fan be a good jumping off point?

White Sox add Swisher

The White Sox have added switch-hitting Nick Swisher to the lineup as the always rebuilding Oakland A's prepare to rebuild yet again.

I think it's a pretty strange quote from Oakland GM Billy Beane that was used in the San Francisco Chronicle article on the subject of team building:

"The best chance for long-term success is to have pitching you've developed and have a chance to hold onto," Beane said. "Personally, this (move) was very difficult, but as we said with Dan Haren, we need as many good young players as we can get, so we can be good for a long time."

With the addition of prospects in this deal and six more players by moving Dan Haren to the Diamondbacks, the A's have made a pretty clear signal that they're not planning to contend this season.

I can't think of a worse fan base to be a part of than Oakland's, which seems destined to hit the ceiling with a solid C-plus to B-minus ballclub every few years. Then, the team is blown up as young stars are starting to come into their own and the whole process begins again.

One of the head-scratchers in recent MLB history was the star power that was amassed in Montreal and then allowed to leave, even before the league was set to sell off the team. It's beyond me how the Moneyball A's are allowed to continue along this course without the fan base throwing up their hands and walking away from the franchise.

Sure, they've taken to covering the upper deck of the stadium to make it appear less empty, but there's still people at the games for the most part.

At what point does the team stand pat and try to make an extended run? I know much of the Moneyball philosophy is predicated on turning huge profits on manufactured statistics (like saves) but with players constantly leaving Oakland, the whole process seems self-defeating.

While the point had been made that the process was a result of a small payroll, there has to be some point where the front office is confident in their lineup and decides to open the purse strings a bit to hold the team together for a few seasons at least.

Off the top of my head, Miguel Tejada, Jason Giambi, Johnny Damon and Barry Zito have all left town, which reminds me of the Chicago Blackhawks in the 90s, when they lost their fan base.

In the meantime, the White Sox pick up a versatile outfielder who can hit for average and from both sides of the plate. He reminds me a bit of another South Side favorite, Aaron Rowland, from what I've seen from him so far.

Say what you will about the Cubs, but at least they make it look like they're trying.

(Image from the Associated Press)

Hunter racking up frequent flyer miles

At the very least, Torii Hunter is going to make some poor airline his bitch.

Bouncing around between Chicago, Texas and who knows where else, Hunter's name keeps coming up in Chicago and in his home state.

Hunter reportedly had dinner with Rangers' owner Tom Hicks Monday night at his home with G.M. Jon Daniels and manager Ron Washington. Frank the Tank officially checked in this week to place his vote for Hunter over the return of Aaron Rowland.

I tend to agree with that take, though there's something to be said for the fan favorite in Rowland, over the on-paper smarts of Hunter. In addition to adding a Gold Glove center fielder, the White Sox would simultaneously cripple a division rival by taking the face of their franchise away.

This also opens the door for all sorts of crazy trade scenarios for Johan Santana as the Twins look to offload his contract - assuming they don't take the savings from passing on Hunter and use that to lock up Santana to pair with Francisco Liriano - and we all love crazy trade scenarios, right?

Incidentally - and this is not backed up with any sort of fact or substantiated rumor - why wouldn't Minnesota be a good fit for Joe Crede? If the White Sox are holding out for young, cheap talent and need to move Crede to make room for Josh Fields, why not Minneapolis?

They have an abundance of young arms, a problem at third with Nick Punto and if the aforementioned intra-divisional incest doesn't bother the Twins or the Sox, it seems like a good solution for the two teams.

At the very least, the Twins would upgrade at a traditional power position - though Crede has not had monster numbers in the past, he's been consistent - and move Punto in the process.

Well, it's that or listen to more fan-generated schemes about Joe Mauer moving to the hot corner.

(Image from: USAToday.com)

Insanity must breed loyalty

There was an exchange during yesterday's Red Sox/Yankees game regarding the different salaries of Terry Francona and Joe Torre which led to a short conversation on Ozzie Guillen's new deal in Chicago.

While the point was that Francona was underpaid - especially in light of Ozzie's payday - it got me thinking again about what Guillen brings to the White Sox, especially in terms of player retention.

With Torii Hunter set to test the free agent waters - and the wild speculation that his departure led to Terry Ryan's resignation in Minneapolis - it's just another reminder that the hometown discount isn't always in play.

Unless you're the White Sox.

With Paul Konerko on the market following Chicago's championship season, I chimed in here that if loyalty was part of the pre-draft testing, the White Sox had cornered the market on giving that a value.

This year it was Mark Buehrle that showed how badly players wanted to stay on the South Side. That makes two marquee players who took deals that were below the market value to play for Guillen instead of cashing a major payday for a team with money to burn.

Make no mistake about those moves - these guys aren't sticking around for the amenities offered on Chicago's south side - they clearly signal that the organization is doing a phenomenal job to keep players. Guillen is at the top of the list of reasons that players are staying with the Sox.

Following the Red Sox championship season, they saw Johnny Damon leave a year later and Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe jump ship immediately. The Cardinals saw attrition this year from nearly half their pitching staff to role players who cashed in on a big postseason.

For the White Sox to only lose players that they apparently had no interest in keeping and locking up two of their stars in Konerko and Buehrle, they have their team on the right track, at least as far as player retention is concerned.

While their North Side neighbors must lean on the perks of day baseball and a national fanbase, the Sox have an uphill battle in that regard. Ozzie seems to be the difference, despite the results this season.

Crazy as he may be, the man is doing something right.

(Image from TheOnion.com)

I'm pretty sure this is illegal

Children working deep underground in damp, dangerous mines.

Sweatshops populated by an underage workforce which is forced to keep up with unreasonable job quotas and no bathroom breaks.

An afternoon for your kids, spent under the watchful eye of either Lou Piniella or Ozzie Guillen. Won't someone please think of the children?

I think the key here is that the two managers won't be playing each other with their team of tykes, so the possibility of a profane eruption of rage and chewing tobacco in the presence of children is diminished, but I'm still pretty sure there are better babysitters in Chicago.

Given Ozzie's penchant for profanity-laced tirades which would make Lee Elia blush and Sweet Lou having enough footage of frustrated blowups to warrant an intermission if you ran them all back to back, I'm looking forward to children throughout the Chicagoland area cursing out their parents like tiny Tony Montana impersonators after a day with Uncle Ozzie.

Not that an afternoon with Lou would be much better. I can easily see them with tiny, red faces - kicking dirt at their teachers on the playground when they're told recess is over.

"That's just a bullshit call to call it this early, Teach! A real bullshit call."

(Image from: supernannyrules.com)

Rich bullpen gets richer - Trading deadline 2007

It's not the wild west trading days of old, but most major league fans will take it.

With few superstars being moved this season, the headliners had to be Boston's aquisition of Eric Gagne - but not Jermaine Dye - and Atlanta's two newest Braves in Mark Teixeira and Octavio Dotel, big enough names, but nothing like the old school fire sales that used to happen.

Gagne is the talk of the telecast as the Red Sox are trailing the Orioles tonight and there is plenty to talk about there. With a bullpen that is already home to All-Stars Hideki Okajima and Jonathan Papelbon as the respective setup man and closer for the team.

The reports I've read make a point of mentioning that Gagne agreed to take a supporting role in Boston, so hopefully there won't be any turf wars over the closer's spot. Assuming that holds true and that Gagne is fine with taking it easy on his suddenly shaky arm, this is a great play by the Red Sox.

With Curt Schilling returning from the DL shortly, Josh Beckett's history of injuries and Daisuke Matsuzaka's high pitch counts this year another reliable arm in the bullpen can only help, especially if the starters need to be spelled in August as a long season takes its toll.

There's something to be said for having confidence in a deep bullpen - just ask any Cubs fans this year.

Personally, I thought the move to put Scott Linebrink in a Milwaukee uniform was interesting from a NL Central perspective. Despite his numbers, Linebrink was a bit of an untouchable player in San Diego as he was a favorite of management from everything I'd read. It seemed strange at the time, much like the unnatural attachments fantasy baseball managers seem to develop with their players, especially when they find diamonds in the rough.

For overviews of the trades made, you can check ESPN's take here or a little more blogger-friendly link here.

The Cubs decided to stand pat, with Sweet Lou Piniella opting to get a rubdown as the clock ticked down to zero on the trading deadline and the club prepares the areas around the clubhouse whirlpool tubs for Kerry Wood's return this weekend. Better put up some of those little yellow signs, too - just in case.

Knowing Wood's awful luck, there should probably be a lifeguard on duty just to be on the safe side.

(Image from MLB.com)

Copyright infringement and Sweet Lou

I had to tune in for the beginning of the Jason Kendall era at Wrigley, where Lou Piniella informed us that among other things, Kendall is a "grinder."*

I'm pretty sure Ozzie Guillen is contractually obligated to assault Piniella with the World Series trophy for using that phrase during a taped interview.

Just imagine Ozzie standing over a bloodied Piniella while screaming, "Choo never, evah, use dat word in my town, Lou!" and you get the basic idea of why I was giggling on my couch during the pregame show.

In my imagination, Ozzie is essentially a Latino Joe Pesci, only with a fouler mouth.

After the Blowout in the Dugout - is there a catchy name for this in Chicago now? Help me out, I'm not in the loop, guys - I'm pretty sure that Carlos Zambrano would fit the same bill.

That's why it worries me to see the "Wake up the rivalry" commercials with Zambrano and AJ Pierzynski, where AJ waxes off one of Zambrano's eyebrows.

Zambrano must be one hell of an actor, because the look on his face suggests that homicide would be an acceptable, measured response.

* For the record, the Cubs broadcast team also told fans not to focus on Kendall's numbers - this recurring theme is starting to scare me. Do his "intangibles" include the ability to calm a nervous fan base that sees a catcher with spotty numbers and no power?"

(Image from MLB.com)

South Side Board of Tourism

I'd heard about these commercials from my dad and brother-in-law, but hadn't seen them until I was watching the White Sox game tonight.

Thanks to the South Side of Chicago Board of Tourism, there's all sorts of comedy to be found right up until you actually click a link and get sent to the official White Sox site. Then it gets less fun quickly.

I'd also like to point out three things here:

1.) The Sox site proclaims, "We are Chicago baseball" across it's banner
2.) This year's Cubs team will be more than willing to punch you for saying that - it's been two days since their last fight
3.) Most Cubs fans will never, ever look at the White Sox site or even MLB.com, so points one and two don't really matter

Still, kill a few minutes watching the commercials if you're an out-of-towner or just want a cheap laugh after you've lived or worked on the South Side.

I think my favorite page on the site is answering the question, "Is the South Side in another time zone like Michigan?"

The answer: Contrary to popular perception, the Southside is most assuredly not in a different time zone. Central Daylight Time is adhered to as rigidly down here as it is in the rest of Chicago. Regional anomalies, such as having a winning baseball team, have lead to a perception that the Southside is much further away than it actually is.

Ouch.

(FYI, your Chicago White Sox - Fourth Place, 2-8 in the last 10 games as of 8:30 p.m. tonight).

(Image from: ViacomLocalNetworks.com)

Fun with our pal AJ

I'm driving around this afternoon while I have the lazy drone of sports talk radio on as white noise - on a small tangent here, apparently the suits at the local sports talk stronghold have told the talent to go easy on the sports and try to give the listeners a little wider world perspective. This is the second dumbest idea, ever - when they start telling a story of White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski.

It was the usual song and dance of how he's a great guy (or not) to have in your clubhouse, but he loves to agitate when he's on the other team.

I'm not sure if it's revisionist history or not, but there were claims that Twins management demanded they dump him because with Joe Mauer in the wings, they couldn't risk him pissing off any more umpires.

Keep in mind that this is the same media market that trash mouths Mark prior and make it sound like it was an easy Mauer over Prior decision in that year's draft.

Anyways, one of the talking heads starts telling the story of Pierzynski Bull Durham-ing an opposing batter who had struck out in the second inning as the guy is trying to bat in the fifth.

"Now what was strike two last time? Was that a curve or a slider?" says AJ as he's taking stock mentally in the middle of the at-bat. "Whap" for strike one.

The story goes that Pierzynski just kept jabbering until the guy struck out and as he's heading to the dugout, AJ chirps, "That's baaaaase-baaaaall..."

It's really a wonder more people don't lash out violently against the guy.

The reason I bring this up - aside from being a really funny story - was that today Mark Buehrle started to chirp to the media about how Pierzynski needed to pipe down with regards to the Mike North/Ozzie Guillen mess.

To quote the Tribune story:
"I think it is disrespecting Toby," Buehrle said before Sunday's game. "It's kind of saying: 'You can't do your job.' I don't see where he has to be in there just because it's a big rivalry. That doesn't matter. He needs a day off. Whether it's against the Cubs or anyone else, he needs a day off."

While this is just someone firing a shot over Pierzynski's bow to get him to settle down in the clubhouse, it is a pretty valid point. This doesn't mean that he's on the outs in the Sox clubhouse, just a little housecleaning, and I can respect Buehrle for that.

However, for a veteran catcher, this should be a non-issue for the most part. The on-field general should know enough to watch his mouth in the media, especially regarding his backup.

Well, that, and no one should listen to North. That's just my personal opinion, though.

(Photo from OrlandoSentinel.com)

Interleague Edition - Does Chipper have a point?

So, Chipper Jones was thinking out loud at the end of the week, where he complained pretty openly about having to face the Red Sox as the Braves' official interleague "rival."

While other teams gets to face perpetual patsies, the Braves are forced to play Boston, as neither team has a local AL team to square off against. Granted, the Mets draw the Yankees, but I think his point rested more with the Marlins/Devil Rays and Nationals/Orioles games this weekend.

For as much fun as Cubs/White Sox, Giants/A's and Mets/Yankees are, you also have Rockies/Royals, Padres/Mariners and Phillies/Blue Jays which don't have much inherent venom.

Whether it's the scope of the rivalry - or lack thereof - or the talent levels involved, I think Jones has at least a respectable point.

No matter how awful the Cubs are, the Sox aren't guaranteed a victory when the teams meet up, where there can be problems involved even when the Northsiders are in a tailspin. Compare that with a team like the Twins who see the Brewers or other match ups that can be pretty useless on paper.

I think on the whole, most of these matchups meet somewhere in the middle, with the averages working themselves out over the course of five or more seasons, but in the hot years when teams like the Yanks or Red Sox are steamrolling ahead, I can see where the frustration can set in.

Honestly, it seems like most of the perpetual cellar dwellers have more regional rivalries, where the impact isn't as great. Still, it makes things a little trickier for MLB to defend with this set of games, where the competition is unequal and division teams aren't facing the same opponents.

Overal, though, I think interleague is good for baseball as it hangs some real numbers on these games and helps to stoke casual fan interest. Well, unless you're in Colorado or Kansas City.

* The Twins were on pace to sweep the Brewers this afternoon - Milwaukee has since tied the game through the sixth inning - which should help slow the bleeding for Minnesota's fans. It's been strange to hear the talk radio callers demanding trades, asking for rash AAA call-ups and dusting off the "Get Joe Mauer out from behind the plate" bandwagon.

I've been impressed by the front office response on the whole, with GM Terry Ryan owning up to the team's poor performance, allowing that they've had hitting and pitching, just not enough and not when they needed it, but also criticizing bad fielding and poor baserunning decisions.

Through all of it, I seem to be one of the only people who questions why returning Rondell White, Lew Ford and other secondary players is being seen as the cure for the team's ills.

They lack a solid rotation - as they have since the off-season - and have streaky batters, with career years in 2006 from players like Nick Punto being seen as breakthrough seasons and not statistical flukes.

While Twins fans only have to look back as far as last year to see a shaky start that eventually grew into a postseason visit, I doubt such a turn-around is possible two years in a row. Eventually, the Twins might have to pay to field a competitive team.

In the meantime, we'll wait out the calls to trade Johan Santana to try and shore up the team with younger ballplayers.

* Worth watching as the Yankees prepare to shake things up is a rumor that they might try to void Jason Giambi's deal if he comes out and admits he took performance-enhancing substances before he signed with New York.

Despite the drama, Giambi being cut loose would have to earn him some serious attention in the AL.

* ESPN is also reporting that Kerry Wood will test out his arm Monday. Expect news of a season-ending trip to the DL on Wednesday or early Thursday.

The strange thing is that for as much ink as Wood and Mark Prior have picked up, Fox ran stats during the game Saturday that compared the numbers for that duo and for their replacements - Jason marquis and Ted Lily - that showed the new arms aren't that different from the Wonder Twins' 2003 numbers to this point.

Interesting.

(Image from TaipeiTimes.com)